This feeling is also why I love coaching. I want others to experience what I have experienced. The joy of accomplishing more than you have ever dreamed of or thought you could achieve, surpassing your perception of your limits, seeing how far you can push yourself. It is why I continue to love and feel an even deeper love for this sport. The ups, the downs, the so so's. This is what real running is about. You just never know what is going to happen, and that makes it terrifying and exciting at the same time. But I believe the journey is more about discovering oneself, and one's true limits. This discovery is only made when one devotes themselves to the sport, in victory and defeat. The defeats are JUST as important as the victories. They may be more. I learn more about myself when I fall down, or "fail" if you wish to use that word. This is how we push ourselves. A great example is Jake Krong, who I roomed with over the weekend in Chicago, went for the much harsher trials standard of 2:18:00(it used to be 2:22:00), going through the first half in a blazing 1:08:47. He payed for the fast start a bit later, but still finished in a superb 2:21:12. Had he not gone for it though, he would have never known. I respected him tremendously for his courage and congratulated him on a great effort. He aims to repeat the 2nd sub 1:09 next time.
As for my race plan, I was looking to take the race out in about 1:10 for the first half. My coach and I knew I was in low 2:20's shape. Unfortunately, it was not to be. I woke up Sunday in the middle of the night with a terrible sore throat. Really? I thought. Why now?? Nevertheless, you push it back and go for it. I had flown all the way out here, just like I had flown all the way to Houston back in January. Gotta go for it. Push through. At the start, Jake and I made our way to the American Development tent and did a warm-up jog for 10 minutes. I could already tell I wasn't feeling good. My breathing was heavy, and I felt like I was sinking. As we got to the start, I stood there, with that sinking feeling, suddenly thirsty. I sipped on water. I tried to be optimistic. Just push past it, I thought. You can do this! Go for it!
The horn sounded and the crowds were roaring. I went out 5:28 for the first mile, perfect pacing and right where I wanted to start. My goal was to start 5:30's and gradually work into the 5:20's. But by mile 3, I could tell I was already not feeling good. My energy was zapped, the power I normally feel before a race was not there. It will pass, that's how the marathon is. I went through 10K in 33:55 or so, still not feeling good. Mile 8, 9, 10. I went through 10 in 55:00-barely 5:30 pace. Feeling awful, but still trying to block it out. I felt like I was running in sand. I noticed I was starting to slow down, hitting halfway in 1:12, certainly off my target of 1:10 for the first half but I told myself to just settle for a 2:25. My breathing was labored. By 25K, I was done. My body was in complete shut down mode. It was not happening. I took gels and they didn't do a thing. There was nothing I could do. I had no choice but to drop out at mile 16, with an hour and 29 minutes on my watch. I luckily found a station right where I had to stop and they drove me back to the finish. I was cold, weakened, and shivering. A woman put a blanket around me. But all the while I was being driven back and feeling defeated, the back of my brain knew I had made an incredibly smart decision. Perhaps one of the smartest I have ever made in my running career.
"Keep going, son, keep training, keep the dream alive. Don't listen to anyone who tells you you can't. You've gained lots of fitness and are completely healthy and injury free. Look how far you've come since running in high school and college. The ones who keep getting back up are the ones who achieve their dreams." -Dad
Despite the marathon not going according to plan, the training cycle I did this summer and fall has helped me achieve amazing new levels of fitness. I have a great amount of aerobic strength stored in my system right now. More often than not the previous training cycle's gains do not show until the following season(s). It is the body's way of adapting. I took yesterday off, and have been resting up to recover from the cold I have, but my legs feel ok. I'm glad I pulled out of the race when I did because I will probably recover pretty quickly. My future racing plans will most likely be the Richmond Half Marathon. I do not feel it is necessary to jump in another marathon until perhaps next spring. I also feel like with the tremendous aerobic strength I have developed, I could really crush a fast half right now. To be developed more soon.
